Thursday, September 01, 2005

Boys on call and other urban myths

No time for words this evening, as I'm too busy with a few others that came in late today. A new letter, which I may or might not have finished this evening, depending on how long it takes me to discover what in the bloody hell traer en carrilla means, how soon I pour myself a demure tot of Jameson and whether or not the goddesses of solidarity decide to float me a dedicated shoulder rubbing compa [preferably cute, of course] down from the heavens.

A girlfriend of mine [who also labours long hours and relentlessly in this and other fine work] decided long ago that we should each be assigned two footboys. One for the abovementioned chore and the other to be on 24 hour call to fix our damnable computers when they crash at the most inopportune moments. We have, however, decided that the deities in question are, in fact, male, and such role reversal would be quite unseemly, stunt their growth, be a terrible example to set for the children and, most likely, cause the heavens themselves to come crashing down on their almost perfect worlds.

I didn't say any of that.

I told you, no time for [my] words. But do look for the letter on the morrow. It's thoughtful and piquant.


Spark said...

Dearly Beloved

RE Your Requirements/Compa Job Application [as far as I can be objective about such things]

I am writing to you as I am interested in the aforementioned offer of foot soldier[?] employment and would like to meet for an interview at your earliest convenience

Strengths: Am well in tune with the Goddess of Solidarity [hurray! that fits] and as such offer immense morale boosting attributes. Also, self aware, centred and focused with good people skills. Can cook, clean, like to party and am excellent with hands.

[RE: Your Concern About A Boy's Heaven Crashing

Good news here! It's [almost] impossible to take away my heaven these days. Heaven is between me and my Maker: because "the deal" was never intended to be unmediated, never between two beings without the Transcendent Third. And it's found in the Middle/Centre]

Academic: Have degree and everything !

Weaknesses: Ahh the shame of it - am hopeless regarding computers and their crash-like tendencies. Positive spin: willingness to learn?

Cuteness Level: shy of sounding over-confident [always a doom laden strategy in my experience] I shall leave judgments regarding this important attribute to you, dearly beloved, the beholder.

Western Sign: Virgo [excellent/very compatible with Scorpio]

Eastern: Rooster [good with Snakes, Dragons, Dogs and many others as yet unknown]

Favourite Tipple: Maker's Mark

Any Questions[in which I get to show my incredibly masculine independence]: Not sure about the 'boy' terminology given in Job Application. Am more of a man child? Also, would be hopeless at sharing your intimate compa with another football/boot-boy. Call me old fashioned but there we go, that's me!

So, given those reservations, please tell me, where exactly is the dotted line, and I'll be there, in a jiffy, pen and signature at the ready!

With Much Love,

Comrada B said...

Traer en carilla....

To bring in page ??? Out of context I don't have a clue, sorry Irle.
When there's more time I would love to comment on the foot-boy-man-child dilemma. By the way, my computer expert is actually a woman, which makes it quite uncomplicated since I love men and there are no other solicitations involved in getting the fickle gadget fixed.

TripleJ said...

I'd love to help, with feet and / or computers (what's a computer that crashes? Oh I see you mean MS windows :^). Miguel you'd better send Irl a set of Ubuntu CDs!

At the moment though I'm busy working on the heavens to stop them from crashing down. And when I'm finished there, I have to give Atlas a bit of a spell and support the earth for a week or so while he goes on a fishing holiday. the poor bugger hasn't had one in the last 400 years.

So what I'll do is something else :^)

miguel said...

J3 I think that's a good idea. My computer has never crashed, only turned off due to power failure. In all seriousness (is that allowed?), Irl, get Linux. I can send you the discs!
Because the biggest computer problem is Microsoft.
Anyway that's enough Linux propaganda. Of course, if I can help, I am in :)

Anonymous said...

Geez Irlandesa,it's starting to look like an army formation taking place here....
On call usually means as needed and with no benefits doesn't it?
For what's it worth,you got yourself another volunteer....the motto is simple...whatever needs to be done.

irlandesa said...

My most dear dearest ones,

I am overwhelmed, no, not overwhelmed, how could I be? I'm delighted by the generosity, and especially by the acumen, of all your offers.

Spark, you leave me almost wordless [while I do insist on claiming the kitchen, the cleaning, partying, insistence on owning your non-boy status, etc. sound perfect, sigh].

comrada b: Hell, I just left it in Spanish after all, and such a good thing about the computer geekess: I know EXACTLY what you mean!

triplej: I know, I know, sigh. Windows, horrid. And you know I am more than fine with your continuing to do that work in the Heavens - someone has to, no?!

miguel jacq: again, you are absolutely absolutely right.

anon: yes, that's exactly what "on call" means. After all, it's precisely what I do. 24/7, not a benefit in sight, other than this lovely cadre of footpersons in waiting.